Capacity reached for people “in that number” after record-breaking tourism in New Orleans

Capacity reached for people “in that number,” New Orleans City Hall saysDon Kiebels

New Orleans is more popular than ever after hosting a record-breaking 10.45 million tourists in 2016. Though, the surge of visitors wanting to be “in that number” has seemingly put city officials in a difficult position.

After reviewing newly released data and analyzing it against the lyrics of “When The Saints Go Marching In,” City Hall today announced that New Orleans has reached its limit for people “in that number” and now must turn people away, effective immediately.

“We’re a small city with a finite amount of room and, according to the latest data, is sinking at an alarming rate,” Deputy Mayor of External Affairs Emily Arata said.

“Between coastal erosion, rising sea levels, and more overweight citizens per capita than any other city in the nation, we had to act. So, for the time being, we’ve created a waiting list. Anyone wishing to be in that number will now have to wait until someone leaves before they are able to join.”

Many newer residents admitted to being shocked upon hearing the news.

“I flat-out don’t get it,” Klint Synder, who moved from St. Louis to New Orleans in early 2016, said. “I really don’t understand what any of this is about or means. I’m a number? What is it? Do I get to choose? If so, I want to be number 69, heh.”

According to City Hall, anyone who is currently in that number will be grandfathered in and not affected. However, the city’s community affairs chief, Jared Wilson, cautions locals that changes may soon be coming.

“Other than the environmental impact, the worry is the widening gap this creates among people who are and aren’t in that number,” Wilson said. “We’re working with state and national officials to develop a system where people can choose exactly how much they want to be in that number. There are many people in that number who aren’t really ‘into it,’ so why not spread that coverage around and give access to those who truly want it, like tourists; especially if it’s for a short visit?”