Survey: 76% of New Orleanians against whatever it is

New Orleanians say no to just about everythingDon Kiebels
Survey: 76% of New Orleanians against whatever it is

According to the survey, 24% percent of New Orleanians don’t give a rat’s ass about whatever it is and just want to go home and have a nice beer without being pestered with questions for once.

In a recent survey, seventy-six percent of New Orleanians were found to be against whatever it is. Absolutely none of the respondents cared to know any of the specifics regarding what the survey was on. They just knew whatever it was, it wasn’t for them.

Resident Jason Adams, who took the survey and voted ‘against’, said he became infuriated when he found out about whatever it is and decided to act.

“I couldn’t believe it. Those people think they can do whatever it is, but they have another thing coming. I won’t stand for whatever it is for as long as it takes.”

A group of locals, numbering in the tens, assembled in front of City Hall to protest and promised to stay as long as it took for their voices to be heard or they got hungry, boycotting whatever it is.

“Someone has to be held accountable,” protester Jim Bourgeois said. “I pay taxes!”

Protesters immediately took to social media in an attempt to rally support, streaming vertically oriented Facebook Live feeds that often showed the ground and sending a flood of Facebook evites to over 4,000 friends and family. As it stands, there are three responses indicating “yes,” five saying “no” and 3,996 “maybe.”

“Whatever it is, I don’t like it and we need to protect New Orleans from it,” Adams said as he brandished his hot-off-the-press ‘For NOLA!’ t-shirt made especially for this occasion and now on sale for any and everyone else for any and all other occasions, here.